I have a feeling everything I may write would be exceptionally boring. Life has a way of reflecting in my writing. I currently live in, relatively, the middle of nowhere and do not have a job or school. Well, no legitimate school. I am taking an online class (which is very interesting and a good time waster) but otherwise there is no one around all day. I look for jobs, but those are few and far between. My last real prospect was to be a math tutor at the Mathnasium in town. I even went so far as to be told that I will be put on the schedule for the following week- I then proceeded to call her repeatedly over the course of a week without any answer. And when I did get an answer, she brushed it off with some vague thing about not being in the office because of heating issues at her house... and soon had to hang up to talk to a parent. And I did not hear from her again. Hopefully she doesn't steal my identity with all of the paperwork I filled out. I would have to bust a cap on her if that were the case. Not really. But maybe.
So my next job venture is trying to be a paraed sub in a nearby school district (I really was joking about the bust a cap thing... I'm a very nonviolent person). It would not be regular work, but irregular work is better than anything else I've found in this town. Which may be driving me to mild insanity. I am used to being busy all the time- not just busy, but excersing by brain, feeling useful and productive, feeling worthy. Fleeting fun may be a temporary smile, but it has no satisfaction. There is no feeling of success in having a snowball fight.
I'm going to, you know, deal with it until I start up school again next quarter. Real school, with real classrooms and real classmates. Get to know more people- especially academic people. I've missed that world immensely and am very excited for a return visit. I keep hoping things will turn around. And of course I know they will- a few months of boredom and frustration is just that, a few months. If things do not pick up, I know to change my environment. So I know this is just a temporary state.
And at least I have someone who I love over here to keep it worth being here. More than being unhappy with things right now, I would be unhappy to leave.
So, this turned into quite the post, eh? Heh. Heh.
Sorry you had to read that. Well, really you didn't HAVE TO. You chose to. Unless you skipped down to this last line, in which case you may be wondering to yourself what you missed, but are, though unsure of exactly why, glad you missed it.
So my next job venture is trying to be a paraed sub in a nearby school district (I really was joking about the bust a cap thing... I'm a very nonviolent person). It would not be regular work, but irregular work is better than anything else I've found in this town. Which may be driving me to mild insanity. I am used to being busy all the time- not just busy, but excersing by brain, feeling useful and productive, feeling worthy. Fleeting fun may be a temporary smile, but it has no satisfaction. There is no feeling of success in having a snowball fight.
I'm going to, you know, deal with it until I start up school again next quarter. Real school, with real classrooms and real classmates. Get to know more people- especially academic people. I've missed that world immensely and am very excited for a return visit. I keep hoping things will turn around. And of course I know they will- a few months of boredom and frustration is just that, a few months. If things do not pick up, I know to change my environment. So I know this is just a temporary state.
And at least I have someone who I love over here to keep it worth being here. More than being unhappy with things right now, I would be unhappy to leave.
So, this turned into quite the post, eh? Heh. Heh.
Sorry you had to read that. Well, really you didn't HAVE TO. You chose to. Unless you skipped down to this last line, in which case you may be wondering to yourself what you missed, but are, though unsure of exactly why, glad you missed it.
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